A leetle a dis and a leetle a dat…

My brain is fried. Seriously. I’m high on life; strung out on sweet chillins, laundry detergent and copious amounts of chili powder, as of late. I’ve learned a lesson or two in the last couple of weeks and even had an epiphany (post to come!), but for now I’ll jot down a few more of my “little known facts” (it seems as though some people were surprised by my last list). And now, for your reading pleasure/confusion/concern…

1. I like to read people’s “little known facts”. 
 
2. When I’m out in public, I use my left hand/elbow for everything from opening doors to pumping gas to rescuing babies. 
 
3. I get a little more granola every few days. As I type this, there is homemade deodorant chilling in my fridge and a bag of zinc oxide powder, beeswax and vitamin E oil sitting on my counter waiting to be turned into sunscreen. If it works, I’ll pass along the recipe and a legal disclaimer.
 
4. I can count on two hands the number of nights that I haven’t dreamed. I keep a journal of the ones that stand out. There are some doozies in that thing.
 
5. At any given moment, there are usually between four and ten different thoughts running through my brain. Most of the time they have nothing to do with one another. (just the other day my brain helped me create a business plan, a children’s toy invention, a list of urban homesteading/woodworking books to look for at the library, and then brought to memory a Michelle Tanner quote from Full House past–no rhyme or reason).
 
6. If you are ever injured, I’ll be the first to respond and, depending on the level of cellular damage, the first to pass out. Lord, please don’t ever let my kids bleed in front of me. Amen. 
 
7. I’ve always wanted to try my hand at archery.
 
8. I’m actually a pretty decent shot.
 
9. Making people laugh is my all-time favorite hobby.
 
10. I was the senior class secretary in high school. I was unopposed. (my classmates thought about running, but my note-taking is a force to be reckoned with…ya)
 
11. I have a nasty little habit of biting off more than I can chew…figuratively and literally. I once swallowed an orange slice still in its peel. #neardeathexperience #sevenyearoldgenius
 
12. My fits of laughter are often horribly mis-timed. I’ve deduced that, while laughter is my natural response to happiness, it is also my natural response to quiet lasting more than 15 seconds. God help us all if I ever have to ask a crowd to join me in a moment of silence. 
 
13. My palms get tingly and sweaty every. time. I see someone high in the air. Those glass platforms = death traps. It doesn’t even have to be in real life. An actor dangling over a green-screened Grand Canyon will get me every time. (this just happened as I pictured what I was writing).
 
14. I want to be a doula. Having done it twice now, I can say that birthing babies is the most intense physical experience a woman can have. Everyone should have support. 
 
15. I have two tattoos. I was 18, stupid and my minimum wage paycheck was burning a whole in the pocket of my stretch denim jeans when I got the first one. Ugh. Whoever has the pleasure of doing my required-by-law autopsy one day will have a nice laugh. I got the second one, a wedding band designed by my husband, last year at my friend’s dining table in exchange for a plate of sesame chicken. Done.  
 
16. I once walked through a supermarket dressed like this: (and no, I wasn’t being “ironic”…this was the ’90s, before irony was cool)
Image
 
17. I have dreams of running and urban farm and retreat center for people who need a hand or a break.
 
18. I went through a “no shoes” phase in college (to show what a free spirit I was, of course). First night I hung out with my future husband, I stepped on a roofing tack. The OCD-cellular-level-damage-imagining girl quickly showed her face. The next day, the wannabe-hippie girl had to call her Mom and ask when her last tetanus shot was. Four months later she was married.
 
19. When they took my braces off in 9th grade, I was convinced for a week that I had big ol’ horse teeth. Not seeing your teeth in their entirety for two years will mess with your head. 
 
20. I scare easily (see here). You’ve been warned. 
 
Have an amazing Wednesday, my friends.
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